In Which Alice Needs a Good Square Meal, Mrs Greenway Feels Guilty and a Bit of Eavesdropping Means Phil Gets His Leg Over .........
Episode 19.
Seven months later Mrs Greenway looked anxiously at her daughter, as she pushed her dinner away. Alice had grown so pale and thin these last few months. She had flitted from boy to boy like a butterfly, yet never stayed long – a week or two and then she was gone, searching for someone else. Her work had gone steadily downhill and she often truanted from college. She did not eat enough to keep a sparrow alive. And then last night Mrs Greenway had been wakened by the sound of crying, and had crept along to Alice’s bedroom where she found the door ajar. She pushed it open quietly. Alice was sitting on the windowsill, the window open letting in the crisp frosty night air. Her face was raised to the sky, bathing in the cold moonlight.
"Pete, Pete," she was saying brokenly. "How could you hurt me so, oh how I need you now." Then the tears started again and her words tumbled from her quivering mouth, pleading and begging. Her mother moved as if to comfort her, but then stopped. How could she comfort her daughter when she, herself was responsible. She turned away unhappily and lay awake for a long time thinking.
She remembered all this now at the dinner table and impetuously put her arm around Alice’s thin shoulders. She wanted to tell her how sorry she was, tell her to go to Pete and be happy again. But the words would not come.
"Please eat your dinner love," she said sadly.
"I don’t want it," Alice replied. "I’m just not hungry anymore."
***
She met her present boyfriend that evening. He was called Rob and he was tall and blond with the best mod haircut she had ever seen. And she knew she was going to give him up. Boys meant nothing to her any more, a week, maybe two and then she tired of them. She was aching with a need, a terrible need for Pete. Each time she saw him she died a little more inside. He seemed so happy without her. He had not gone out with Sally for long and had wandered around aimlessly for the first few weeks but now he seemed pretty well settled down. He went out with a girl called Maria, who wore a maroon leather, was tall with medium length dark blond hair and glasses. She was attractive and they looked so happy together that Alice cried to think of it. Occasionally she saw them at parties or dances, Maria holding the hand that used to hold hers, owning the love that he had vowed to give to Alice for ever. She could not bear it.She and Rob went to the cellar bar where they were greeted loudly by the Stroud mods; Derek, Yogi, John, Bern, Bob, Phil and many others.
"Where shall we go?" asked Phil. "anyone know of any parties?" He looked enquiringly around.
"Yeah, there’s one at Kings Stanley," replied Yogi. "Should be all right."
"Let’s go then," said John in his London accent, as he got to his feet. They went out into the cold night air and both she and Robin were given lifts as Robin did not own a scooter.
The party was a good one and as usual Alice drank heavily to try and drown her sorrow. She and Rob were sitting on a mattress sharing a dish of peanuts between them when Phil and Yogi came over to join them. Alice barely heard the conversation, her head was spinning so much. She kept giggling stupidly. Then she heard a few words spoken by Phil.
"Saw Pete yesterday, we had a laugh. He was telling me about Maria, they were in bed once and she …….." The world roared in her ears.
"Stop it," she screamed, hitting out at him. "Shut up, don’t say it."
She got to her feet and ran, staggering slightly, outside, away from those terrible words. Pete, her own Pete, in bed with someone else, loving someone else. Of course she had known he and Maria must have slept together, but this was the first time she had heard for sure. She had closed her mind to the obvious truth. A boy grabbed hold of her in the darkness but she kicked him viciously and stumbled on, the tears rolling in great heaving sobs down her cheeks.
Suddenly she heard footsteps running behind her and catching her up. She looked around and saw it was Phil.
"Hey I’m really sorry Alice," he said simply. "I didn’t know you still liked him so much. Thought it was all over."
She clung onto him, sobbing, and telling him how she felt. Phil was a bit older than the rest of them and thought himself something special but you couldn’t help liking him. Slowly the pain died a little and before long he was kissing her. He had the same masterful way about him that Pete had. He knew what he wanted and went all out to get it. He was different to the boys she had been out with since Pete, all rushing to oblige her and to be careful not to hurt her. Phil would stand no nonsense and that was the way it should be, the way Pete had been. She was not particularly surprised to find herself in a bedroom with him but what did it matter? How she had got there she could not remember. The bed was warm and inviting and she did not refuse its invitation. Phil with a rough kind of tenderness pulled her towards him, kissing her strongly. She murmured against his mouth and clutched at him. But the name she called out silently within her head was not his. It was Pete’s.
***
She went out with Phil. It was funny but she had not expected that to happen. He was very much a one night stand person, but here she was with him. Four weeks, and she felt quite happy about the arrangement. He knew she did not love him and she never expected love from him, but that seemed to suit both of them. He had the same kind of temperament as Pete, what he said usually went, and she looked up to him for guidance. They looked good together which satisfied his vanity. She knew he went with other girls occasionally but it didn’t seem to matter, not when he was kissing her and she could shut her eyes and imagine it was Pete.***
to be continued
No comments:
Post a Comment