17.In Which There is a Nasty Accident, a Lost Baby and Alice is Nearly Led Astray...

Episode 17.

In Which There is a Nasty Accident, a Lost Baby and Alice is Nearly Led Astray!

Jane and Ray sped along the road on the scooter. For the first time for weeks Jane felt happy. Whatever else happened, Ray would stand by her. It was funny to think that there was a living baby inside her; a baby who would one day grow into a person who loved and lived and had feelings just as she did. Suddenly she felt a fierce surge of love for her baby. She wanted to protect it, keep it and love it. It had every right to live and she wanted to hold it in her arms, a tiny warm living bundle.

"Baby," she whispered silently to herself. "My little baby."
Then suddenly Ray was shouting.
"Jump Jane, jump, jump!"

A terrible noise, a wrenching shock and then tearing pain screaming through her body, forcing itself through her mouth. A roaring black sea engulfed her and carried her away, far away where she was far beyond the reach of Ray, of anyone. Somewhere in the writhing agony of her mind she thought of her baby.
"My baby," she screamed. "I want you, I love you. My little baby."
Then an endless falling blackness and nothing.

***

When Alice arrived home nothing very much was said to her, so her parents must have believed her story about staying the night with Jane which, after all, was something she did quite often. They did not notice the love bites which Alice seemed to have successfully covered with makeup.
Then suddenly at about nine o’ clock the phone rang. It seemed to have an ominous, urgent tone about it. Mr Greenway answered it….

"Alice," he called from the hall. "It’s for you." She got up and took it from him.
"Hello, who’s that?"
"Alice, it’s Ray. We’ve – Christ – we’ve had an accident. I got off with just a few scratches but Jane – Jane’s ill, very ill. They don’t know if she’ll make it." His voice broke off and Alice stood staring at the phone, clutching onto the table for support.
"Oh no!" she gasped. "What happened? Where are you? She’s got to be all right – oh the baby….."
His voice came over the air sounding tinny and strange.

"She had a miscarriage – on the road, before the ambulance – it was horrible. I’ve just got to see you, can you come down? This dog ran across and I swerved and then there was this car – God it was terrible. I jumped, but Jane, she was too late. What if she dies? I will have killed her, me – killed her."
"Look, where are you. I’ll come at once."
"Gloucester General – oh do hurry up."
"Half an hour – I’ll be there." Putting down the phone she ran to her father.
"Please dad, take me to Gloucester Hospital. It’s Jane – they think she’s going to die."
Hardly before the car stopped, Alice had opened the door and run across to the hospital. She pushed open the heavy door and ran into the building. An efficient looking nurse came forward.
"Can I help you? Are you ill?"
"Jane, my friend. She’s dying, I had to come," the girl said wildly. "Her boyfriend Ray, where is he."
"I’m afraid you can’t see her yet," replied the nurse. "He’s waiting outside Ward 4. We’d like him to go home but he refuses – perhaps you could persuade him?"
"He loves her," said Alice. "He’s got to be near her." She hurried off following the signs to the ward.

Ray was standing alone in a big, empty corridor with his back to the door. He turned as soon as he heard Alice enter and she ran to him. They held one another tightly, Alice crying loudly and Ray unashamedly letting the tears roll from his deep brown eyes.
"We can’t see her," she sobbed. "I’ve got to in case ……."
"I’ve got to see her," said Ray, his voice shaking. "She doesn’t know how much, how very much I love her. I’ve got to tell her or she’ll never know. I’ll die without her, oh dear God, I love her so much." He sank into a chair, his head in his hands. After a while Alice ventured to ask where Jane’s parents were. Pete replied that they were at a friend’s house just around the corner as they had been told that they could do nothing just by waiting at the hospital.
"…..but I’ve got to stay," he finished vehemently. "She’s my girl, I’ve got to stay."
They sat silently for what seemed like eternity and then suddenly a nurse came hurrying in.
"I think you’d better come," was all she said.

"She’s dying," Ray said hopelessly. "She’s dying, my little girl’s dying."
They followed the nurse hastily along a green corridor smelling of disinfectant until they reached the door to the Ward. A doctor came over to them.
"She is beginning to come round. She’s calling for Ray, that’s you isn’t it son?"
He nodded briefly.
"And then she keeps saying ‘Alice, I love it, don’t let then take it away.’ We presume she is referring to the baby she lost. Are you Alice?"
"Yes," she gulped, looking at the big green screens around her bed.
"It would be reassuring for her to wake and find friends by her side. We have just contacted the parents who should be here very soon. I warn you it may not be very pleasant."
"I love her," was all that Ray said.
"Right then," said the doctor. "Come round this way."

She lay, head swathed in bandages, her face scratched and bruised, with her eyes closed in the big white bed.
"Oh God," whispered Alice. "Let her be all right." Ray just stood staring for a long time, and then he bent and gently kissed her.
After a few minutes she began to move her head restlessly from side to side.
"Ray – Ray – Ray," she moaned.
"I’m here darling," he said quietly.

"I love it, it’s mine, mine, mine." Her voice rose to a shout, and her eyes flickered open, stared unseeingly ahead, and then shut again. Alice helplessly touched her friend’s arm above the bandaged hand. She called out many times and yet never gazed at them sensibly however much they hoped. Ray sat down on a chair and rested his head wearily in his hands. Alice looked at him sadly. What if Jane died. She would lose her only really good, close friend and Ray would lose the girl he loved. It was unbearable. Suddenly a whisper broke the hushed atmosphere.

"Ray?" He raised his head quickly. Jane was looking at him, her eyes calm and normal once again.
"Jane, my darling, darling Jane. Can you really see me?"
"Yes." It was obviously a strain to speak.
"Don’t talk, just listen. I love you, really love you. You’ve got to know that. You’re going to get better now because I am going to look after you." He looked at her with eyes full of love.
"I love you" she murmured, then turned her eyes towards Alice. "I’ve lost my baby haven’t I?"
"Yes," she said quietly. "It was the best thing really I suppose."
"No, no. I loved my baby. I wanted to – to hold it just once, just once." Tears began to spill from her eyes. The doctor came forward.
"I think it would be best if you left now," he said. "You can see how tired she is and she must rest and not get upset if she is to recover. And her parents are about to arrive just for a quick visit."
Ray stood up, kissed Jane and then he and Alice left the ward.
"She knows I love her," he said almost to himself "so I can go now." They walked in silence over to the waiting room where Alice’s father was established with a cup of tea.
"We can go now," Alice told him. "Pete can’t be on his own. He’s going to stay with us."
"Jane came round, she spoke to us. There’s nothing more we can do," Ray told him, "except hope."

*****

Alice woke suddenly, she could not understand why. The night was very dark and silent. Then she heard the sound of her door creaking open and being shut quietly.
"Who is it?" she whispered.
"Ray. I had to come and talk to you." She felt, rather than saw him walk over to the bed where he sat down.
"I hope no-one comes," she said, "or there will be trouble!"
"I couldn’t sleep for thinking about Jane – and our baby. She kept saying she loved it – but earlier she was wanting to get rid of it. I don’t understand."
"Nor me," replied Alice whispering, for fear of waking her parents. "She never said anything to me about wanting to keep it. But I suppose it is different when suddenly you have no choice."
"You must think I’m terrible, getting her into trouble I mean."
"No. not at all. It could happen to any of us. A bit stupid maybe not to use anything but then it was Jane who asked you not to wasn’t it?"
Ray sounded a little embarrassed. "Yeah – she certainly told you everything then? He enquired, leaning back against the wall.
"Well – not everything but most of it."
"You and Pete," he said. "it was you two really that made me practically force her. I loved her and wanted her to be all mine, like you two were, you understand? But she just kept saying ‘no, it’s wrong, we mustn’t…."
"Just like Pete and me before we ran away," Alice chuckled.
"Yeah, Pete and I used to get so mad at you two, because it wasn’t just for kicks, we loved you. Anyway then one day I thought, it’s no good, she can’t love me or else she’d give me everything so I had a serious discussion. I mean it wasn’t as if we had only just met or anything, we’ve been together for 17 months now. Eventually she agreed but not completely…."
"I know," Alice broke in, "and it wasn’t any good and you both got angry."

"She really did tell you everything" Ray commented ruefully. "Anyway, you’re right, I went to bed, almost burning up I was and then suddenly she came in. I thought she would in the end. It was all right then!"


"Pete and I this morning – oh it was good," she shuddered a little at the memory of it. They were very close now, Alice lying over on one side of the bed, Ray half lying, half sitting beside her. He could see, very dimly, the silhouette of her face – upturned with lips parted slightly. He had been longing for Jane all night long, and here was a girl – not Jane it was true, but a girl who could comfort him. He knew she was also longing for Pete to be beside her.

"It’s lonely without them isn’t it?" he asked softly.

"Yes," she whispered back, "Oh yes." Her thoughts were whirling frantically. "he’s going to kiss me, take me – I mustn’t - I love Pete – he loves Jane – but oh I need someone to hold and it’s so lonely."

Suddenly he was kissing her – she fought to keep him off but her feelings, and his were too strong. His hands were hot and large – one minute she would cling tightly to him, the next she would struggle to get away.

"No Ray – no" she gasped. "Jane. Pete. Oh please stop."
Her words went unheeded but then suddenly Ray drew away from her.

"I’m so sorry Alice. I don’t know what made me do that."
She lay trying to regain her breath.
"It’s okay, I understand."

"You won’t say anything to Jane will you – or to Pete. He’d kill me."

"Of course not, it’s between you and me. We were both just in a state, hell of an emotional day. I’ll forget all about it now and so must you. Thank you for stopping because I love Pete and – well I don’t want to go with anyone else."

"And thanks for not letting me. We would have both hated ourselves afterwards." He stood up. "I’m going back to bed now. Goodnight Alice, and I really am sorry.
The door closed softly behind him, and Alice lay awake for a long time, staring into the dark night.

***